Gotta Deal with Tough Times

Well, still goin hard in all I do. As long as I know God is watching over me, I feel good. Sometimes I allow things to get me down or better yet, I get too anxious to see outcomes at times. Not realizing that it took me at least 25 years to get where I'm at right now. Things take time so I've realized. I'm just used to things happening faster. When you're younger, you go through probably 90% of the changing that you will do in your entire adulthood.

Definitely aware of where I want to be on a day to day basis, which could be the reason I'm soo anxious. I've grown up and seen many, many people have high hopes and dreams only to never get them. I think that's why a lot of older people aren't happy with where they are. Even if they are doing good in our eyes, it's very likely that they had much bigger dreams throughout the course of their lives. I feel their pain.

For the rest of my years, I'm dedicated to change. Changing is the best indicator of either progress or digress. For those that had those dreams and didn't get a chance to fully explore them, I dedicate my change. I understand from what I've seen throughout my years. I want to learn more, go different places, take part in different events, business, organizations. And I want to start my own, leave a trail behind that everyone can see and reuse in their own ways.

Being out here in the US away from family is probably one of the hardest things I've had to overcome. Not that I'm a mommas boy and love to be under her wing or any other family members for that matter, but in life and in success, there are always those around that you can trust. It has just taken a while to get those people trusted in my heart. The people I've grown up with are no longer around. The girls that taught me how to love in high school, the teachers that helped me to make my first steps out into the world, the coaches that have been my father at the times I didn't have one in my mind, they are all in a far, far away place.

The aunts who give me love, the uncles who taught me how be a man and looked out for my mom, their sister, when it was just she and I. Everyone can rest asure that it is coming soon. The day we will all be able to be happier. The ultimate fulfillment.

Until that time is here, I understand there will be those hard times, those moments that you feel ultimate confusion and don't know what to do. But just like being double-teamed on the basketball court, the best thing to do is take a step back, take a good ook over the defence, and step through.

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